Better

Better is a lame parody of Better (than Neil) that Jazz the Lame made with the help of Xi!muse. Actually, I think Ilian!muse had more to do with it. Anyway, it's about Xi's inherent superiority to pretty much everyone.

The Song
Every night I lay awake with sorrow in my chest.

I think of Sine Boral and hope that his soul is at rest.

Did he know that Corbos would be his final quest?

Tossin' in my bed.

Cuz that poor kriffer's dead.

I'm better, better than Sine.

I've still got a pulse; hope that's not out of line.

He's a pile of ashes while I'm still damn fine.

My body's divine.

I'm better.

So he's out investigatin' while I'm at the redoubt.

He's got the high score in 'saber bouts.

But I say “pink starfighter,” he falls into a pout.

Look at Lysander.

So sad, he's just blander.

He's a Jedi Master, plus Shay's little bro.

But I know his padawan, Tari's a ho.

She also got pwned by Hush. What do you know?

Now my ears are bleeding.

Cuz quetarra strings he's beating.

I'm better, better than Lys.

M'not a hypocrite when it comes to advice.

Spends all night bangin' Conner then he says love's not wise.

Just ask Doctor Vice.

I'm better.

He's a skilled young duelist. Well, so am I, dude.

But I am much younger and Tari saw me nude.

Oh wait, she saw Cal's dick too. Force, that girl's lewd.

But then he's got Corellian blood,

So he's always whipping out his pud. Yeah

I see friends in trouble,

I dole out hugs fast.

They know that I love them and I make comfort last.

Except for that one time I refused to sign Tari's cast.

But my smile never warps.

Didn't rob poor Sine's corpse.

Look at his smallness

Compared to my tallness

The way I win brawlness

My lack of shortfallness

My power of enthrallness

My anti-Darth Maulness

The ladies' cat-callness

My lovin's cure-allness

My faultless behavior.

My shiny lightsaber, it's curved

Though I keep it reserved.

While Cal's kind of a perv,

When we sparred, he got served.

I'm better, better than Cal.

Though there's no hard feelings cuz we're really good pals.

We both went for Seras, and who got the gal?

Or at least who shall?

I'm better.

Better than Qyyl.

I look kriffing hawt, not like some freaky eel.

He's all old and jaded, while I'm young and ideal.

Plus my cock makes you heal.

I'm better.